Korean People

This may be the most contentious part of my guide, and I write at risk of offending the many kind and generous people I've met here. Again, try, try to take what I say with a sense of humor and a grain of salt, and realize that I complain with some affection.

One of the great things and worst things about internet discussion groups is that anybody can add their opinion. Among the intelligent and funny posters at Dave's ESL Cafe are the Korean-haters, for whom everything is a snub against foreigners, the Korea Nazis, who blast anyone who criticizes the country for lacking cultural sensitivity, and the usual America-haters, fundamentalists (both Christian and atheist), and trolls who try to stir up flame-wars. It can be great fun but reading too much Dave's is a way of scaring off potential teachers and can make you alienated and cynical. A lot of posters can be very mean to people on the forums. If you take the site literally, Korea will start to sound like hell for foreign teachers, plagued with cheating directors, xenophobic institutions, sheep mentalities, America-hating media, scheming women, and a culture with a martyr complex perpetually blaming its problems on America and Japan.

Well, it's 10% true... you can get discouraged by the institutional and social lack of respect for foreigners. It is generally the little things: the alien card you must carry; extra difficulties in getting credit cards and cell phones; the woman who takes your money at the counter and gives the change to your Korean friend in order to avoid you; the woman who won't mix an ice cream combination for you because 'Koreans don't like that flavor'; the people who make a racket or enter the room to get photocopy paper during church because it's only an English service; the dignitaries who visit your department and are introduced to everyone except the faculty because they're only the foreigners (it happened frequently to me); the drunk man in the park by the train station shouting at you and picking a fight for being with a Korean woman; the feeling when you are the very last person on the subway or bus to be sat next to that you are a well-treated guest but never, ever, ever accepted as belonging.

There are ingrained assumptions that seem impervious to information or common sense. Korea seems convinced that it is the only country in the world with four seasons, that double doors last longer if one is permanently locked, and that it is a miracle of technical skill for a westerner to use chopsticks. The national persecution complex can get equally fatiguing. The national media is incredibly sensitive to insults or slurs by foreign celebrities or media. There's only so many times you can read a plaque saying "burned down in 1592 by the hated Japanese bastards" in front of every historical site in the country before it starts to sound a little overwrought. And after students try to pull down a statue of General Macarthur, you wonder why the Americans don't pull out and tell the country to pay for their own bleeding defence.

But consider four things before passing judgment.

• Don't overgeneralize— people tend to remember only the bad. You can get worn down by the occasional incident or jerk, but there's no shortage of jerks and racism in North America too. Don't forget the stranger on the street who gave you directions, or the old woman in the restaurant who did something nice for you without charge, or the fellow who told you welcome to Korea. Or the curious girl who sat next to you on the train and flirted with you in her best broken English. Korea can have a bad attitude collectively— but so can Americans or Canadians sometimes. There are some Koreans who know very well that the country has problems but are embarassed to discuss this with foreigners. How many people want to air their dirty laundry to outsiders?

• Korea is geographically a small country, hemmed in by imperial China on one side— "Who do those Americans think they are, interfering in other countr— HEY! Somebody said something nice about Taiwan! It's ONE CHINA!"— and militaristic Japan on the other. Of course these are unpleasant stereotypes. But these unpleasant stereotypes have stomped in and occupied the country or burned it down more than once. The country is faced on all sides by potentially (or explicitly, in the case of North Korea) hostile forces. People here can be forgiven a little paranoia about foreign influences.

• The country wasn't called the hermit kingdom for nothing. The presence of any foreigner is very new here and people deserve some credit for moving this quickly in the space of a few years. Be patient. Not everyone is used to this wonderful globalization system yet.

• The influence of Confucianism. This is absolutely key to ever understanding the social nature of Koreans. The country is slowly shedding its old value system, pressed by international influences such as Christianity and globalization, but Confucianism (or more accurately, Neo-Confucianism) casts a long shadow. The modern west espouses a system which values change and equality. Confucianism stands for stability and hierarchy. Everyone fits into the pecking order somewhere based on factors such as gender or age, and there are several basic social relationships, such as a father and son, a husband and wife, or a ruler and subject. The ajoshi (older man) who shoves in front of you to pay for a candy bar at the 7-11 may not be conscious of what you take to be rudeness; he doesn't know where you relate to him in the hierarchy, and thus you don't exist. After an introduction he could be very pleasant!

  There are good things about (Neo) Confucianism too. It's the reason that teachers are treated with a relatively high amount of respect, and why students give you candy or compliments, or take you out for lunch; because when there is a social relationship formed in the hierarchy, there can be a lot of affection and loyalty in that relationship. Koreans won't do anything for a stranger; but they will do everything for someone they like and accept. Confucianism can create a corporate climate of stagnation because no one ever challenges the boss, but Korea is also relatively free from the western obsession with individualism and all of the social problems it has brought. There is little public charity in Korea, but partly because there doesn't need to be; the social expectation for family members to support each other is far stronger.

I only hope that Korea eventually synthesizes the best of both cultures, because, to be honest, now that I've lived in Las Vegas, Koreans can be wonderfully polite if the occasion demands. Sometimes you will get bumped in the streets, and Koreans seldom say "sorry" to strangers the way westerners do. But overall it is a culture that emphasizes respectable conduct, particularly between students and teachers.

Busan ajumma (badpermus volumae maximus) cooking at an outdoor stand. Some of the fried food is pretty good on a blustery day. I don't need to warn you about bundaygee (cooked silkworms) as the smell will knock you over anyway. Ajummas, technically meaning 'married woman' or 'auntie', but with the humorous nuance of 'crotchedy old nag,' can be pushy and loud and can have the femininity of a cement truck, but they work harder than anyone else in Korea, and sometimes they can be inexplicably motherly to you. If it's raining at the bus stop, they might share their umbrella!

The cliché of Koreans and Asians in general is that they are dour and unsmiling, and only care about work. This is only surface appearances. True, you're not going to see many spontaneous outpourings of joy on the street like you might see in the Philippines, or a lot of lovers smooching. But when Koreans have accepted you as an acquaintance, they really are much more romantic and social than you might think (all Korean pop is love songs). The standard Korean outing is to go out for supper, and then for another round at a lounge, and then a third round at the norebong (singing room) for karaoke. More rounds might follow if anyone can still stand up; the entire evening is often soaked in booze, and it's amazing how good some Koreans are at singing after all that drinking...

Church in Korea

You will see the reddish-neon crosses everywhere in Korea, as there are churches ranging from giant building complexes to little office-suite congregations in office buildings. The problem is that all the services will be in Korean, and you'll have to look for the odd one with an English service or which has simultaneous translation over headphones.

There isn't a lot of what I would call liberal Christianity in Korea. I am often met with surprise when I tell students that I both go to church and enjoy a beer. Christianity is growing very rapidly in the country and is now a majority religion, but at times people can take it a little too seriously and will try to evangelize the class every minute; it is as irritating as the western liberal-arts atheists who sniffingly want to 'free' everyone's mind here. The dominant denomination here is Presbyterian and Catholic, but there are pockets of many types. The traditional faith system in Korea is Buddhism, but I do not meet many who actively practice it.

Korean church services can be hardcore at times, but the English services will be tailored more toward the expatriate community and will vary in style. I've seen female pastors and fairly liberal service formats. My only general gripe with the English-only services is that some Korean parents will send their kids there for a freebie ESL lesson, and the children will be unsupervised and noisy. You will also find mega-church type services in Korean with little headsets with English translation. If you are religious, church is a good place to meet people who aren't in your narrow school circle, and it won't kill you to befriend some locals.

I would recommend the same if you aren't religious. Try to join a sport or band or hiking club or Korean class or some other activity. Koreans like playing soccer and I've even seen an expatriate ice hockey league. You need that sometimes for the days when you're sick of your job and everyone you work with and you need to get away from it.