Ken's Boring Holiday Pictures
Western U.S. Parks

Western Mountain Parks
Either you like rocks or you don't. The parks aren't the most inviting places to live, but the size and the color range of the mountain ranges is awesome. It's hard to fit the whole spectacle into a camera lens.

If you go, bring water, bring grippy shoes, and wear a hat. If you don't want to do those things, stay in your car and turn up the air-con. There are dry bones on the rocks for a reason!

 


Cactus field view, Usury Park, Arizona, 2008. Apprently cacti are designed to minimize sun exposure. If so, why aren't they <i>underground</i>? Roadside Trinket Stand, Arizona, 1986<br>"A little track lighting and it'll look just like Harrod's!" Northern Arizona, 1986<br> This might be south Utah or north Arizona. "It's the state that has all the rocks". Snoopy Rock, Sedona, Arizona, 2009<br> I'm not a very visual person. You could call it "Red Roundy Bumps Rock" and it would make as much sense to me. Near Grand Canyon, Arizona, 2008<br> I didn't see any snakes or lizards. After sitting in a car all day, no doubt our scent warned them about us! Red Canyon Peaks, Utah, 2008<br> They're on the Bryce road. Really, they'd be much more famous if they were called "Fiery Bloody Death Peaks." Marketing! Usury Park, Mesa, Arizona, 2008<br>I had a picnic there with my parents in the desert. No one believes this. Well, you don't have to worry about the chicken sandwiches getting cold. Colorado River, near Arizona Border, 2008<br>I took this from the Navajo Bridge near the border. "Sure, you can have a drink, but it's a ways back up." Bryce Canyon View, 1986<br>For some reason, I suddenly want pie with whipped cream! Sunset Point, To my surprise, it didn't change much in those 22 years. Path from Sunset Point, 1986<br> "If you get lost down there, just look for an orange rock." Sunset Point, 1986<br> I stood a <i>little</i> too close to the edge to take some of these pictures. "Say.. where did Ken disappear to?" Bryce Arch, 2008<br>Maybe arches attract us because they defy gravity. A reason to not stand under them! Sunset Point Peaks, 2008<br>I have a good idea for a tourist brochure: "Our canyon is <i>pointier</i> than the other canyons." Bryce Architecture, 2008 Maybe I like Bryce because it looks like the architecture of a cathedral or of ancient ruins. If I could only get the Indiana Jones theme out of my head. Weeping Rock Trail, 2008<br>I wanted to see the actual weeping rock, but it was well over 100°F and I gave up and turned back. I settled for weeping beer elsewhere. Rock Swirls near Exit, 2008<br> Perhaps an ancient people encoded something in those grooves. Their civilization ended when no one could build a big enough turntable needle. Sinawawa Point, 2008<br>This is the end of the Zion bus route. "Yes, the bus is free to come here. But not free to go <i>back</i>." Rock Swirls Detail, 2008<br> Some people believe they were made by aliens. Very bored aliens with big power tools! Exit Tunnel, 2008<br> These rock-tunnels always unnerve me. There's a reason I never took the chunnel in England. Yavapai Point, 2008<br> I always pity the early explorers who spent days trying to <i>cross</i> the canyon. Yavapai Point. That mountain really needs to get that rash looked at. Sometimes the mountains are bluer than the sky. Desert View, 2008<br>There are numerous viewpoints with different names for <i>the same canyon</i>. Maybe it's the same guys who came up with the names for Mexican fast food. Canyon View, 1986<br>At the time there were visiting hours. Just like with waterfalls, I haven't figured this out. Do the rocks get tired in the evening? Keyhole, near Entrance, 2008<br>Parts of <i>Total Recall</i> were shot in the area. You need acting ability to pretend you're on chilly Mars when it's over 120°F! Atlatl Rock Petroglyph Detail, 2008<br>These carvings might be upwards of 1500 years old. They were discovered because, fortunately, the liquid paper covering them only lasted 1400 years. Seven Sisters Rock, 2007<br>This rock formation looks like a man's side profile to me.. a giant, orange man with no hair. Elephant Rock, 2008<br>Okay, for once it actually <i>looks</i> somewhat like an elephant's truck. But only at the right angle. Elephant Rock Sky View, 2008<br> Again, I'll say it.. standing underneath for a long time kind of tempts the rocks! Atlatl Rock Petroglyph, 2008<br>Drawn to petition the spirits for a good hunt... and some decent felt markers. A wedding party taking photographs. I'll try not to make a joke about their rocky marriage, but it's so hard. There <i>is</i> water at nearby Fire Springs, near Lake Mead. It was slightly smelly, but it's not an area to be fussy in. Zabriskie Viewpoint, 2007<br>Death Valley would probably be four times as large if people could just find a way to stretch it out flat. Highway View, 2007<br> It's the highway to Death Valley.. shouldn't it be paved with good intentions? Amargosa Opera House, near Furnace Flats, 2007<br>I have no idea what it's doing there, but a sign said 'Performance Tonight!' Was <i>Rigoletto</i> set in the desert? View from Artist's Drive, 2007<br>Well, I would just be inspired to paint some rocks and mountains, but I guess Idon't have the soul of an artist now, do I? Zabriskie Folds, 2007<br>They're sometimes referred to as pillows. Well, then let the geologists sleep on them. Badwater Salt Bed, 282 feet Below Sea Level<br> Another name that might be lost in time, as I didn't see much water. But hey, if you need to season your french fries... Badwater at Sunset<br>I grew up often walking on the frozen lake, so I had to keep reminding myself that it's a <i>salt</i> bed. Now I'm waiting for a pepper bed. The Petrified Tree, 2008<br>Crowds of people there.. from far away.. all gazing.. and saying, "that's bloody <i>it</i>?" Mammoth Rocks, 2008<br>The nearby formations were true to their word, being a mammoth waste of time, but the nearby rock colorsare interesting. Not Much Left, Paint Pots, 2008<br>The pessimist: this tree is dead. the optimist: I think I'll check this tree for berries! Paint Pot, 2008<br> The paint pots are really cool. There's the mud pot, some geysers, and this eerie blue steam pot. So many places you should really not fall into. Old Faithful, 2008<br>Fifty minutes of waiting for two minutes of action. I never thought people had that kind of patience anymore. To be frank, the paint pots are most fun. Inspiration Falls, 2008<br>Very inspirational. I was inspired to strangle the drivers in front of me. Well, who said all inspirations have to be good ones, <i>huh</i>? West Yellowstone<br>It felt like the old west to stay in the nearby town. To preserve the spirit of things, our hotel room had not been cleaned since the actual <i>time</i> of the old west. Bison Grazing<br>They're common in Alberta, so to me it was more amusing to see everyone madly photographing what is essentially a <i>cow</i>. Spasm Geyser, Paint Pots<br> Instead of every forty or fifty minutes, this much cooler geyser at the paint pots spouts off <i>constantly</i>. Kind of like a woman I worked with in Mexico. Mud Pot, Paint Pots<br>There really is nothing like this anywhere, and there can only be one word that comes to your mind: "blorp."

 

 

 

 

This'll be the player
Death Valley (November 2007) 0:28
Grandview Point, Grand Canyon (June 2008) 0:16
Usuery Park, Mesa, Arizona (March 2008) 0:25
Yellowstone Park (June 2008) 0:45
Bryce Canyon, Utah
I went to Bryce in 1986 and 2008, and it's still a favorite. There's a wider variety of rock formations, you can go at your own pace (coff, Zion) and it isn't jammed (coff, Grand Canyon). It sounds silly, but you can watch the rocks in peace.		 Zion Park, Utah
Zion doesn't let you drive around the park anymore; they now have a free shuttle bus. Zion is more for the hiker, as you have to take a trail to see most of the attractions from the bus stop, whereas Bryce lets you be a little lazier and drive up.
Grand Canyon Park, Arizona
Bryce teases you with lots of little beautiful places. The Grand Canyon just hits you in the face with one gigantic view. It's worth seeing, but once you've lifted your jaw off the ground there isn't really anything else besides camping.		 Valley of Fire Park, Las Vegas
You're not exactly spoiled for choice in the Vegas area for natural scenery, but as parks go Valley of Fire is worth seeing. It's eerily orange and has weird shapes and swirly roads. You need to drink quite a bit on the strip to see things like that.
Death Valley, California (2007)
Death Valley is desolate and almost too uninhabited. But despite the macho name, it's no more dangerous than Zion Canyon on a hot day. Still, I'm glad we went there in November rather than July. 		Yellowstone Park, Wyoming (2008)
The famous Jellystone is beautiful and very walkable. But I wouldn't try to see it all in one day—it's a big park and there's no end of SUVs driving at 30 mph because SLOW DOWN THERE'S A TREE WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!